I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
