I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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