the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
