I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
