Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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