I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Let's get the cat blown out
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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