problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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