i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
