You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
what the fuck happened to the tacos
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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