remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just gift wrapped bread.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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