we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
