I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
