Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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