one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize