I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
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I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
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We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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