im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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