Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
