I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
