i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
