Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
