Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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