you guys were way drunker than both of me
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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