well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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