i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
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he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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