Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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