I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
