My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
