i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
