Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
