Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
