I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
