Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
so let's talk penis.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
