i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
