Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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