I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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