Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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