She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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