This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
