He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
