I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
