no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
