i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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