Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.