Texts From Last Night

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  (309): View more from Illinois

  $35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.

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  (309): $35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively. http://tfl.nu/sa2o
  Replies (6) Good night (1449) Bad night (683)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!

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  (913): Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life! http://tfl.nu/nhg0
  Replies (22) Good night (1447) Bad night (3211)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles

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  (319): I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles http://tfl.nu/zz0g
  Replies (7) Good night (2799) Bad night (606)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  how does Santa get into Hogwarts?

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  (574): how does Santa get into Hogwarts? http://tfl.nu/z515
  Replies (48) Good night (6082) Bad night (1080)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina

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  (917): I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina http://tfl.nu/sexo
  Replies (71) Good night (6818) Bad night (990)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You just said the magic words

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  (484): We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE. (610): You just said the magic words http://tfl.nu/8k47
  Replies (24) Good night (5938) Bad night (1193)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD

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  (781): Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD http://tfl.nu/rpdj
  Replies (10) Good night (1124) Bad night (3287)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.

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  (360): just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs. http://tfl.nu/bvji
  Replies (18) Good night (1963) Bad night (607)
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  (+33): View more from France

  I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."

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  (+33): I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes." http://tfl.nu/b971
  Replies (4) Good night (1917) Bad night (839)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.

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  (402): I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack. http://tfl.nu/jydf
  Replies (6) Good night (2662) Bad night (591)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.

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  (407): That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan. http://tfl.nu/f7sf
  Replies (13) Good night (2345) Bad night (783)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too

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  (503): If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too http://tfl.nu/ytr8
  Replies (5) Good night (818) Bad night (456)
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  (818): View more from California

  Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick

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  (818): Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick http://tfl.nu/tc3y
  Replies (0) Good night (873) Bad night (331)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.

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  (361): I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek. http://tfl.nu/8l4n
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (476)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.

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  (941): Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested. http://tfl.nu/uoo2
  Replies (2) Good night (252) Bad night (652)

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