Texts From Last Night

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  (325): View more from Texas

  Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.

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  (325): Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with. http://tfl.nu/wag5
  Replies (13) Good night (3368) Bad night (1251)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Maybe he just has a boisterous penis

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  (203): Maybe he just has a boisterous penis http://tfl.nu/s2rt
  Replies (17) Good night (3457) Bad night (894)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.

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  (573): I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn. http://tfl.nu/8enu
  Replies (13) Good night (883) Bad night (4078)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.

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  (623): I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite. http://tfl.nu/mkl5
  Replies (30) Good night (1477) Bad night (6064)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...

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  (240): I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette... http://tfl.nu/tjl0
  Replies (17) Good night (999) Bad night (4812)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night

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  (612): Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night http://tfl.nu/h77m
  Replies (3) Good night (3174) Bad night (853)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.

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  (+44): I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland. http://tfl.nu/8trz
  Replies (5) Good night (2164) Bad night (858)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.

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  (360): Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE. http://tfl.nu/0hus
  Replies (10) Good night (1772) Bad night (714)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.

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  (502): he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult. http://tfl.nu/fe1g
  Replies (27) Good night (850) Bad night (3259)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this

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  (913): Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this http://tfl.nu/urxm
  Replies (11) Good night (856) Bad night (1469)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.

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  (757): Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob. http://tfl.nu/c5bb
  Replies (14) Good night (1577) Bad night (619)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.

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  (914): He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared. http://tfl.nu/k0z7
  Replies (11) Good night (2070) Bad night (551)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...

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  (214): Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable... http://tfl.nu/uugd
  Replies (3) Good night (1313) Bad night (871)
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  (858): View more from California

  There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.

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  (858): There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie. http://tfl.nu/bbcq
  Replies (5) Good night (1124) Bad night (353)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.

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  (785): You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised. http://tfl.nu/dvsv
  Replies (0) Good night (445) Bad night (370)

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