this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
