Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?

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  (703): So... how did lowering your standards work out last night? http://tfl.nu/lq5v
  Replies (5) Good night (1146) Bad night (654)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"

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  (407): I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays" http://tfl.nu/5s21
  Replies (38) Good night (3560) Bad night (806)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  pedialite and red bull = repair kit

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  (954): pedialite and red bull = repair kit http://tfl.nu/fijn
  Replies (22) Good night (3301) Bad night (648)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.

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  (902): He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock. http://tfl.nu/ce76
  Replies (20) Good night (3022) Bad night (5064)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her

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  (612): I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her http://tfl.nu/lmu7
  Replies (10) Good night (3659) Bad night (1248)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.

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  (502): update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive. http://tfl.nu/e1l9
  Replies (10) Good night (4753) Bad night (1279)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?

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  (636): hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls? http://tfl.nu/dqbw
  Replies (17) Good night (5059) Bad night (957)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service

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  (970): I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service http://tfl.nu/s56z
  Replies (17) Good night (5930) Bad night (744)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand

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  (772): No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand http://tfl.nu/pktd
  Replies (6) Good night (646) Bad night (2499)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.

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  (915): I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something. http://tfl.nu/u0v6
  Replies (5) Good night (3045) Bad night (811)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.

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  (303): He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts. http://tfl.nu/jof7
  Replies (8) Good night (1012) Bad night (1718)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.

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  (727): Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time. http://tfl.nu/hhge
  Replies (9) Good night (950) Bad night (1886)
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  (310): View more from California

  Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"

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  (310): Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there" http://tfl.nu/gk1u
  Replies (3) Good night (1293) Bad night (535)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs

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  (918): i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs http://tfl.nu/moe6
  Replies (2) Good night (407) Bad night (261)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.

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  (225): I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys. http://tfl.nu/a4f0
  Replies (3) Good night (287) Bad night (450)

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