smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
