I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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