Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Will exercising make me less horny?
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