I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
