rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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