Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
