when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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