take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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