if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You dont lie about slip and slides
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
