why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
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he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
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I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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