Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
