Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
