Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
