I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
