They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
