My hair reeks of homosexuality.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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