why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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