Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
