nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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