I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
