question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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