Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
