nut hugger
now i know why i became what i already was.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
