So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
