Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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